urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:futureoog futureoog futureoog 2009-02-15T02:14:41Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:futureoog:1675 2009-02-15T02:13:55Z 2009-02-15T02:14:41Z Gosh, it's been a while! Ever since people spread all those lies about me on the internet, about peanut butter and ants and money and cheating, I have had to go incognito -- to reinvent myself, as they say. I am now a Married Woman, with a guy on the side, except he's not on the side -- he's in the house, with us!&nbsp;<br /><br />I do have to work hard to divide my time between my two men, but I think my DDDs are large enough to satisfy them both.<br /><br />Even though I have large tantalizing breasts, I do not consider myself beautiful. I&nbsp;am still a fat ugly ogress. However, that is because I&nbsp;learned at a young age that if you didn't pull your eyelashes out, no one would ever take you seriously.<br /><br />Well, I hope you are all well, and please, read my sex advice column! There is some fishy business going on with trannie acceptance (or lack thereof)&nbsp;here at UMN, and I wrote all about it. &nbsp;There are some great quotes in there, because that's how I roll.<br /><br /><br type="_moz" /> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:futureoog:1306 2006-01-22T07:04:58Z 2006-01-22T07:04:58Z People are so immature. So high school. I mean, why don't they get mad at me at the moment I am screwing someone over? What is this bullcrap about getting mad at me AFTER THE FACT! DUH! I admit I used people for their money and their homes and manipulated them and lied to them and used their food without paying for it and trashed their homes and disrespected them and sat for hours in front of a computer drinking mountain dew while never leaving the house and lost every job I ever had and have left a trail of angry and betrayed people everywhere I have gone -- BUT THAT'S IN THE PAST! How dare these people say bad things about me on the internet!! It's so unfair!!!!!<br /><br />Anyway, I'm really poor this month -- I may not be able to eat. They fired me at my last job for NO GOOD REASON! Will you send me some money? Also, don't forget my Amazon Wish List, dumbasses. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:futureoog:1144 2004-04-01T23:06:13Z 2004-04-01T23:09:18Z Well, today I'm supposed to move in with Reginald. We're going to get married and have babies! Of course, we haven't met yet, but what does that matter? I'm kinda hoping he'll marry me before he figures out what he really got himself into with me!! ;) ;) ;) Otherwise, I may have to enact Plan B...or Plan C...I've got at least 3 or 4 other pots on the back burners, if you know what I mean! ;) ;) Gotta have a backup plan! ;) ;) <br /><br />It's always important to have that Back Up Guy. A girl's gotta be smart about it. I mean, once the going gets rough, why not just get going -- OUTTA THERE!!! LOL! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:futureoog:822 2004-03-12T05:51:02Z 2004-03-12T05:51:02Z Dear Sucker --<br /><br />You are so sweet! My Paypal account is futureoog@lazyass.com. Don't forget that I am starving! Have you seen my Amazon.com wish list? I really can't wait to join you in Toledo! Me and Reginald just aren't working out here in Las Vegas. Of course, he doesn't know yet that I have been talking to you, but he will know soon enough! Alright, I must go write an essay on why everyone is stupid except me..oh, and of course, you...<br /><br />Sincerely,<br /><br />Futureoog<br /><br />Dear Futureoog --<br /><br />Did you get my money? I send you $500 a week ago, but you haven't answered any of my e-mails. I see you are writing in your journal, so your internet connection didn't get turned off. I'm really confused, and I really love you, so please write me soon!<br /><br />Love,<br />Sucker<br /><br />Dear Futureoog --<br /><br />I still haven't heard from you. Please IM me! Please!<br /><br />Love,<br />Sucker<br /><br />Dear Futureoog --<br /><br />It's been 10 weeks, and I still haven't heard from you. I see from your journal you are going to live with some guy in Arkansas. I guess this is goodbye. I still think you were worth every penny of my $500 dollars and all the books and household appliances I bought you from your Amazon wish list. I hope one day you see fit to give me another chance.<br /><br />Love,<br />Sucker urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:futureoog:637 2004-03-12T05:43:09Z 2004-03-12T05:43:09Z Dear Futureoog --<br /><br />You are so gorgeous and smart, you blow me away with your incredible intellect and beauty (I can tell how beautiful you are from your strategically posed LJ usericons)! I love talking about economics and quantum physics with you! You must have SWARMS of men after you, and I am just grateful that you are favoring me with your special attention! Plus, your insisting on having sex with me immediately upon our first meeting gets me HOT!<br /><br />Love,<br />Sucker #58<br /><br />Dear Sucker --<br /><br />Well, of course I think you are amazing too! I can't wait to have hot monkey sex with you! I only wish things were better at home...everyone I live with is treating me unfairly, and everyone at my job treats me unfairly too. In fact, they want to fire me, when I am the best employee they have ever had, and the only one in the whole office who tells the truth about how badly they treat me and others! I don't know why I get fired or quit every job I ever have -- well, I do know why -- it's always someone else's fault! They all have it out for me! Just because I am poor little brilliant me. Now I can't buy food, and everyone in my house hates me, for no reason at all! I think they are just jealous. I'm not sure what I'm going to. Surely someone will be able to help me, or I suppose I could sell my body on the streets of Las Vegas...<br /><br />Love,<br />Futureoog<br /><br />Dear Futureoog --<br /><br />I think so highly of your intellect and your amazing maturity that I am willing to send you money to help you not starve, poor baby! In fact, I think I've IM'd with you enough times to know that you are the woman I want to spend the rest of my life with! Come to Toledo to live with me! You can live in my house, eat my food, sit on my furniture and use my computer all day and all night, all for free! I mean, I would expect you to get a job eventually, but for now I would be happy just to have your beauteous figure in my arms. Now, don't go telling me you are fat and ugly! I know you're just being modest! Your pictures say it ALL! What e-mail do you use for paypal?<br /><br />All my love,<br />Sucker #38 urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:futureoog:332 2004-03-12T05:26:06Z 2004-03-12T05:26:06Z You are all idiots. You don't appreciate me.<br /><br />Poor me! Will you send me money? Please? I will perform sexual favors for you if you do!